You live and you learn
You know how for a while I've been going on and on about doing less, and letting go of perfectionism, and how my painting practice is about embracing mistakes and blah, blah, blah.
Well, today, in less than 5 hours I am opening the physical TinyMighty Work+Shop. And this month leading to it? TOTAL. INSANITY.
So much for all those essentialists, kinda-zen captions in my instagram. So much for these blogposts. So much for meditation. So much for my painting philisophy. Life has raised an eyebrow at my "mastery of accepting accidents", and allowed me to challenge said "mastery", Hence, this month I've:
-Fiercely battled my husband's idea of "holidays"
-Lost the aforementioned battle
-Gone visit both families in different locations of Spain for a week (see above)
-Got a major summer head cold
-Got a mysterious gut pain that forced me to lay whilst curling up and sleep the day away
-Had to go to an emergency doctor
-Had to give up coffee, tea, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, to get better.
And, uh, you know, get the freaking space ready.
All I wanted was a month of focus.
Of sheer decluttered mind, working away, calmly. But as you see, I got everything but.
I guess the lesson here is that my method of letting go stressful sh*t of my life might have only been a different way of controlling my environment. And, as you know, we don't control our environment.
Substituting a type-A narrative with a "purely decluttered" one is just changing the surface of the same core-problem.
At some points this month, I totally lost it. It was not pretty, but I am reading Rising Strong by Brené Brown, and I thing it's worth putting out there (the books is about "falling down", and not polishing the narratives once we have a different perspective). I don't know how the opening will go. I am not even sure I've made peace with this month's lesson (I am not sure I'm "standing up" yet). But as they say, you live, and you learn.
I am so grateful for all the love and support I have got, online and offline (thank you). I am very lucky, very nervous, a bit beaten, but still strong-headed to start this new project, no matter what.